Makes My Skin Crawl...

Last week, a FaceBook friend 'shared' a link for a video. She had no idea it was posted under her name, and promptly took it down when I asked her about it. It was very odd for her to post something like it, and when it says "Share to view disturbing video" it is a clue that it is a spam file or a hacker's file.

But the photo posted on the link shocked me to my core.

It was this:

I have something wired in me to be repulsed by this image. I stayed awake that night with the image of these fingertips haunting me. I didn't know why. I prayed for a while asking God to help put my mind at ease so I could get some rest. He didn't. I was worried that I wasn't "letting go" of the image enough to have faith in him taking my, at this point, pain away. My skin was crawling. I felt like there were little bugs crawling under my skin all over my body. I started to feel tinges and tingles on my arms and legs and I started to scratch.

I had given myself hives.

At this point I was furious. I couldn't let this image go. I didn't need to close my eyes to see the white fleshy part of the skin in the image being eaten away by whatever that was in the middle. I was crying into my pillow.

It has been two nights since that night. I hadn't had much relief. I have been so irritable and I can't 'fix' it. My lungs burn and my muscles ache. I want to scream and cry and throw a fit. But, I can't see how doing any of this will make me understand WHY that image bothers me so much.

Today,I was driving my daughter to her gymnastics camp and was seeing the image in the stop lights and tail lights of vehicles.

What is wrong with me? I was yelling at God asking him what this all meant. I knew the image wasn't the issue anymore. It was the fact that I couldn't let it go. What was the message in all of this?!?

Finally tonight, I sat down tonight after supper and enlisted the powers of the Google. I tried to find the image again. I had to see it and find out what it was, but not compromise my identity by clicking on the FaceBook post.

I started thinking about things that just gross me out. I thought if I exposed myself to disturbing things, it would desensitize me. I googled "too many teeth"

I googled "Snake Scales". Those trip me out too.

This grossed me out. But not like those fingers. This wasn't the right avenue. I googled "skin diseases". Bingo. That is where I found that image, and it was labeled "Lamprey Disease". I found other images like it:

Yep. Enough to send me in a tailspin. I couldn't breath. I started itching. I was gagging on thin air. Oh what have I done? I couldn't let it go! I couldn't just let it go and let God's message show itself in his time. Now I will be haunted forever.

I looked at their descriptions, then went to wikipedia and searched "Lamprey Disease". Thankfully, there was no entry. I went to a site that disproved false statements. It said that Lamprey Disease is totally made up by users of PhotoShop to show off their talents. 

Wow. There it is. Closure. I knew what a Lamprey was, and understood that the terrifying image was named after it because of the way it looked. I didn't jump to the conclusion that someone had PhotoShopped its mouth onto flesh and created a disease named for it. 

I was so relieved that it isn't something that could happen to me, or anyone I know and love.

But the image still grosses me out. I can't even think of another word to describe how it affected me, because gross doesn't seem intense enough.

So, I am asking you all. If you have any insights as to why this picture can truly disturb my life, please share. I am now curious, and I need to get some sleep.

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Children's Point of View

I love listening to kids speak. I love how they put words together, often amazed at word choice, and their enunciation. Of course, its always easier to understand your own kids. But, do they understand each other?

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We were at the ENT for a checkup for Hannah. We were sitting in the exam room, waiting for the doctor, when Madelyn decided to strike up a conversation.

"Today is Parent Teacher Conferences. My teacher made all of us clean the entire room! I worked on the bookcase with Kaileigh, Rachael, and Shadai."

"She died?!?" Hannah interjected.

Madelyn and I looked at each other quizzically. Confused.

"What, honey? Who died?" I asked.

"Madelyn said she died!"

Madelyn repeated her statement. "I worked on the bookcase with Kaileigh, Rachael, and Shadai." At that moment, Madelyn and I locked eyes and burst out laughing. Hannah had heard Shadai as 'she died'. She was concerned that Rachael died!

Hannah couldn't understand our amusement. How could we be laughing over something so traumatic as Rachael dying!

I slowed down the statement and rearranged the names. Madelyn decided that she will lead with Shadai's name from now on to eliminate any confusion.

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Tonight, being Halloween, I ordered pizza. I wanted them to have full tummys before we struck out on the Great Candy Quest. Okay, I wanted a fully tummy, too. I can't resist the Twix tax. (The girls have to give me any Twix as a tax for me taking them trick or treating.)

After Audrey declared she was done, she pushed away from the table.

"Now, go wash your hands, honey."

"Nope."

"Yep. What do we do when we are done?"

"Wash hands?"

"Yep."

She sat and pondered it. I moved to Hannah and was talking about how excited she was to hand out candy tonight. (Refer to previous blog about her giving heart)

Meanwhile, Audrey is rambling about Middy. She keeps getting louder and louder. I was getting upset because she has yet to get down and go wash up.

"Audrey! Hush! Now go wash your hands!"

She threw her palms in the air with a huge smile.

"Nope. Don't have to. Middy washed them!"

So, apparently, she was holding them under the table and letting Middy lick them off.

Good grief.

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Grins and Giggles

Last night, around 2 AM, I heard blood-curdling screams coming from Audrey's room. I rushed in there to find her, after my eyes adjusted, caught between her bed rail and her mattress. She was standing on the floor, but still laying her head on her pillow.

Once she realized I was there, she changed her tune.

She immediately quit screaming and begun begging "Lil hep here?!? Lil hep here?!?"

It took me a minute to compose myself, as I had burst out laughing, and I couldn't even stand up straight, let alone lift her 25 pound body from its entrapment.

She fell back asleep immediately after I laid her across her bed properly. But, it took me a good twenty minutes to settle down myself.

***

This morning, after taking Madelyn to school, the girls were sitting in their chairs, coloring.

Hannah says, "I need a drink!"

"Well," I reply. "You have a bottle of water in the fridge for your own personal use."

"Get it for me?"

"No. I am not your servant."

"But, Mommy! I thought we were best friends?!?"

I brought her the bottle of water. She had never used the word 'friend' towards me and it brought a chuckle to me how she used to so manipulatively.

But, I won't let it happen again. It was just so cute.

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When Life Hits Reality

So I know I haven't posted since November. I have been struggling with where I want the next ten years of my life to go. I know that I really have no choice in the matter, but I have my wonders.

I have started working as a volunteer at the Survivor Outreach Services Family Center. I am the 'behind the scenes' lady that does publications and manages the social media websites. I really enjoy it. I love the cause. Working to help the families who have lost a soldier seems pretty honorable to me. I haven't gotten fired. Yet.

I have also taken on the responsibilities of the FRG Leader. I help coordinate the flow of information from Command to the families of the soldiers. It is interesting. I was surprised at how many reports it requires. I am a volunteer civilian. I can't imagine what Active Duty NCOs have to do.

In the last few months we have traveled to Kansas for Christmas and Spring Break. I have lost an Uncle, which leaves all of the cousins on my Dad's side of the family without fathers. I spent some time with my Grandma as my Grandfather healed in the Kansas Heart Hospital from three stints, and sat through a diagnosis explaining why Audrey's heart isn't operating correctly.  All in all, we have been a very strong family. Jay is coming home in a few hours from a month-long school 10 hours away. So, we have been pretty blessed.

My heart is heavy tonight, though. The all-to-familiar cycle of make friends-leave friends has reared its ugly head.  I have met a wonderful woman with two babies. We have gotten extremely close. She let me be her "Misty" on several occasions. It was such an honor to help her with her family, and to watch her develop as a person going from a mother of one to a mother of two. I haven't figured out how to deal with my emotions with this beast, yet. So, I did what I normally do.

I made a video of our children playing together.

When Can I See You Again by Owl City

Now I have to go find the tooth fairy. Apparently, Madelyn has had a loose tooth, but kept it a secret. She came in crying this morning because she popped it out last night, and placed it under her pillow. She claimed the tooth is gone, but the lousy fairy didn't leave any money. After some consoling, we decided that she was broke, because Hockey is back on, and she has to pay a LOT of money to those knuckle heads who get theirs knocked out.

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...What did she just say?!?

This is the season of Thanksgiving. Hannah class has created a huge turkey body. Each visit, they grab a blank feather-like piece of paper, decorate it, and have the teacher write what the student is thankful that day on the paper.

"Hannah? What are you thankful for," asked Mr. Ray.

Without hesitation...

"Chickens."

"I have heard all things, Hannah, but you always manage to bring something new to the class," Mr. Ray replied.

Later that evening, Madelyn and I had words with each other. It was her birthday, and she was displaying a very ugly attitude. I called her on it and sent her to her room. I was destroyed. I was sad that she had to behave that way and be sent to her room on her birthday.  Seriously, I had tears about it.

I had called a friend to ask for advice, and her words really settled my heart.  Jay walked in the door as I was hanging up and saw I was upset. Madelyn came out of her room and noticed it, too.  Jay took her out back and had a talk with her, and she came back to apologize. I forgave her and we finished with her evening of birthday fun.

As I was putting her to bed, I had a sentimental thought.

‎"Madelyn, can I sing 'Hush Little Baby' to you one more time, or are you too old for that now that you are eight?" 

 "Sing to me, Mom!" 

 So I sang her the lullaby I've sung every night since I found out I was pregnant with her. I looked up at her on the top bunk and noticed that she had tears streaming down her face. "Mom, I love you so much it hurts me. Why does my heart hurt when you love someone like that?" 

 "Because it is God's way of showing you how Jesus felt on the cross; what unconditional love is all about."

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Seriously? Seriously...

Today was Saturday. We started the day by shopping for Halloween costumes. I can't do that again this year.  I am so tired of little girls changing their minds. It was horrible!  I am glad Audrey has no choice. She's Elmo.

After we got home and had lunch, Jay fell asleep on the floor watching football. The girls and I went to my bedroom and played. I gave them my make-up bag and they 'decorated' me. It was fun.

Until...

I noticed that Audrey had dumped all the loose bronzer out into the carpet. She was painting the closet wall with it.

In a panic, I lept up to get to cleaning. Dawn in a dish rag worked great on the closet door. Spray-N-Wash from the laundry room tackled the carpet. I was busy rinsing the carpet by pouring water over it and soaking it up repeatedly when I heard the girls bickering from the dining room.

Dining room / Office

Yes, it ended up being a squabble over who got to play JumpStart on the computer first.

I told them to back up so I could log them in.

They just stared at me.

"Honey, move over. I need to pull the chair out so I can sit to log you in."

Blank stares.

I tried to sneak through them, but knocked Hannah with my elbow.

"See?!? I asked you to move, but you didn't. I wasn't just trying to listen to myself talk. It was for a reason. I am sorry Hannah, but you should have stepped aside."

Madelyn jumped to her defense.

"Mom, how do you expect us to take you seriously looking like that?"

I thought about it.

I really had no idea what she was talking about.

Kids!

Later, after supper, Jay was taking the training wheels off of Madelyn's bike. Hannah was his assistant.

"Hannah, you have a runny nose. Go take care of that before we play."

"Oh, ha, Daddy! It's okay! I can wipe it with my tongue," as she proceeds to lick the top of her top lip in a hilarious manner.

"Oh Hannah! That is so gross!"

It's nice to see 'kid' in her sometimes!

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Homecoming 2012

Yey! I got the video done! So excited!

This is his return from his fourth deployment. Three to Iraq, and one to Afghanistan.

Already slated for another in late 2013 :(

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A Soldier's Welcome

Finally getting around to posting the video we all made for Jay's return.

He was on a plane direct from Germany to El Paso, and from Afghanistan direct to Germany just before that. Unfortunately, he was three hours later than planned, and he was so so exhausted.

So, when we got him home and to his chair, we played this video for him.

He returned on July 26th. The homecoming footage in the video was from his R&R back in January.

A week after his homecoming, his mom had a little heart-spell. We went on emergency leave for a month to go spend time with her, and to take a small vacation.  She is doing well now, and we are back home in our regular routines.

I am trying to get the actual homecoming footage organized. So stay tuned for that!

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Busted!

A few evenings ago, I walked into the girls' room to see what they were up to. They were playing Barbies. I didn't think anything of it.

Until I noticed that Madelyn's Barbie's hair was tangled in Prom King Ken's crown.

"How did she get her hair caught, Madelyn?"

"I guess from being in the tub," she replied, shakily.

"Oh really? You sure they weren't... kissing?"

Blatant stare. Dropped Jaw.

"I saw you through the crack of the door. So you can tell me what your dolls were doing, or you can make up a creative story. The latter will result in punishment, but I am curious as to what you will come up with. You choose."

Embarrassed grin.

"Well, they were kissing, Mom. But, seriously! They are in High School! You can't expect me to have them act like they are in Kindergarten!"

Well played, Child. Well Played.

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Oh my!

So, while I was in D.C. with my hubby, my girls were staying with Gramma.

Auntie Megan brought Baby Kenton by to visit.

While Kenton was having a diaper-change, Hannah walked through the room and made an observation.

Remember, she hasn't ever seen what makes boys boys...

"Oh, look! He has a handle!"

***

Madelyn leaves me little surprises. I find "I love you" notes around the house and the word MOM with hearts around it.

Tonight, it was the bathroom floor after she neglected to put the shower curtain liner INSIDE the tub.

Ahhhh.  Memories...


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My Oldest

Madelyn is all girl. She is a very passionate person. Her temper lets you know that.  But, as quick as she is to blow up, she's just as hasty when it comes to her sisters, or someone in need.

She loves fashion. I am talking way passed Fashion Plates Fashion Designer. She is always organizing clothing for everyone. Dolls included. She's been playing with material and a little fashion mannequin, too. I am getting scared. I can't imagine what her wardrobe is going to entail when she gets older. I am talking emotionally. Like when I tell her that $100 jeans are out of the question. Thank goodness the middle school here requires uniforms.

We never pass up an opportunity for a party.

Or pink.

Standing still would be an insult. Life is for dancing.

So we dance.

All the time.

Everything she does is over-the-top.

Everything.

So now there are a slug of commercials for products that Madelyn has on her wish list. There is a pillow with LED lights that glow for fifteen minutes, and change color. There are Stompee slippers where the critters blink their eyes every time you put your weight on that foot. Stuffees  are stuffed animals with special pockets to hide your stuff in. Cuddle-up-its are part blanket, part puppet.

And there are the Slushy Magic cubes.  Have you seen them? You add these to a shaker. Add your favorite beverage, and shake for sixty seconds. Out comes a slushy. So fast. So magical.

I wasn't going to pay for these three cubes.  So I poured salt water into snack-sized Ziploc baggies. I turned our freezer as cold as it could go, and let them freeze. I had so much salt that it took two days for them to freeze completely. I was very careful when I handled them. I knew that if I scratched a hole in the side of one while it was frozen, I would never know it. But I would discover it quickly when trying our slushy.

I placed the frozen baggie into a two-cup shaker that I use to make salad dressings. I added a cup of Kool-Aid.  I shook for about thirty seconds.

And it worked!

Madelyn was slurping it down in a hurry. Well, I only do these things after the other two go to bed, in case they don't work. They will get to try it in a day or two when the salt water re-freezes. I did place the water in new baggies. I am worried about it leaking and I wanted a fresh plastic barrier.

As I was cleaning up the kitchen, I found a pack of gum.

"Madelyn! I have gum. Do you want some? I have no idea how old it is, but it's sealed. It could be hard."

"Thats because you have to chew it first, Mom."

Right...thanks for the insight, kid.
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My Middle Child

Not much to say to introduce this entry. It is just some things from my Hannah that I am ready to share.

"Who is my Godmother?"
"Vonda, Sweetie."
"Oh wow! I didn't know she had wings!"
"Not that kind of Godmother, kid."

Audrey was running down the driveway.
"Hey! Get back here, Kiddo!"

"Hannah, you did a great job eating your supper. You are going to grow tonight, I can tell it!"
"That's because I'm a Cretoxyrhina."
(That is one of the huge shark creatures from back in Dinosaur times)
"Oh really. I didn't notice all the rows of teeth. I'll look closer next time."
"Yea. But be careful. They bite!"


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It's Here!

So back in June, Hannah informed me she had a baby in her tummy. We don't have anyone who is pregnant that we hang out with on a regular basis, so this shocked me.

"Oh, really? Wow. Is it a girl or a boy?"

"Girl."

"What will you name her?"

"Summer."

So the weeks go by and Hannah becomes bedridden. She can't clean up her messes because her lower back is just killing her. That baby hurts, you know!

She can't sit still anywhere because that baby is constantly tickling her.

She can't eat anything that I fix her, but watermelon, because the baby doesn't like that kind of food.

Well, I was about to my limit. It was adorable, but too realistic for me. It was like she was the first person ever pregnant. I think we've all encountered mommys-to-be that were the same way.

Anyway, the other night, I came into the living room, after my shower, to find Hannah on the couch wadded up in a huge blanket.

"Mommy! You missed it! My baby came!"

"Oh finally! Was it a girl, like you had planned?"

"Yes. Her name is Summer! Would you like to meet her?"

"Sure! (takes baby that is as big as the palm of her hand) Oh, so tiny. What will you feed her?"

".... Spaghetti and Corn."

Okay, then.

The new diet for newborns is Spaghetti and Corn.

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Home Town Staple

Warning: This post may upset some of you. I'll get over it.

Our family's lifestyle has had an added blessing of being able to move around a lot. We are far from both sets of grandparents, so there is always a road trip available, if we so choose to spend all day in a vehicle with three small children. Granted, these trips usually occur when Jay is gone and I get restless. Some call me brave to embark on these endeavors alone with the children. I look at it as trying to not change habits or traditions.

We met in Kansas while Jay was stationed at Ft. Riley. We've lived in Manhattan, Ks, Olympia, Wa, Norman and Moore, Ok, Highlands Ranch, Co and now El Paso, Tx.

There is one thing that all of these places have in common. One thing that my family can always turn to when we get a little 'homesick'. Granted, we aren't anywhere very long to grow too attached to it to pine for our lives 'back there'. But, it happens. Especially with the kids.

That element is Wal-Mart.

Most Wal-Mart stores have similar floor plans. So the chances of walking in to one in your new town and feeling like you at the store in your previous town are pretty high.  Unless you are in Coffeyville, Ks. That store is crazy. Sorry. Crā-Crā. (Its how all the kids are saying 'crazy' these days. I try to stay hip.)

Anyway, I have gone to Wal-Mart with the kids many, many times to kill time. I've gone because I've needed a break from trying to establish friendships for myself. I've gone because I've needed a break from trying to help establish friendships for my daughters. I can linger there for hours. I don't realize that I am trying to set up a new 'home' in a new town until I walk out to find my van in the parking lot.

I love Wal-Mart.

Target is a snob. They aren't as widespread and they are so much more expensive. I like Target, but they don't seem as well staffed, and they just don't have 'everything'.

As Sophia, from the Golden Girls, would say: Picture it. 2011. El Paso. Our family just got the key to our new living establishment. Needing supplies, I found the closest Wal-Mart and we headed off.

Boy, was I surprised!

The staff was so slow. The parking lot was crowded. The store was dirty, disorganized, and dimly lit.

I felt like I had lost a friend. I was broken hearted. The one thing that I had constant in the ten years that I have been with Jay was a Wal-Mart that I enjoyed to shop at. One that I felt safe both inside and out.  I didn't realize how much I mourned this loss until this summer when I got back to El Paso.

A brand-spanking new Wal-Mart opened up just down the street!

I was skeptical. I was scared. I had so many hopes for this store. Once I walked in, they could shatter like Madelyn's porcelain fairy did on our tile floor.

Or...

It could be a dream come true.

You know what?!? It was!

The aisles are the widest of any store I've ever been in.  The checkout stands are open. I've never been more than the second person in line. It's clean. The carts are smooth. It has a great variety of everything that I go in there looking for. I love going there!

What makes it even better is the customer service.

A few weeks ago, Madelyn's bike was stolen. We had it for only three days until it was missing. Madelyn was so broken hearted. We filed a report with the MPs and chalked it up to being gone forever. I went and got her a new one that day.  Out of curiosity, I went to the Customer Service desk and asked for a manager. I told him the story, and he said he could't do anything about it. There is no store policy. But, he could give me 10% off the new one if I replaced it.

I didn't expect a bike given to me as the replacement. I was just curious what he would do. He could say, "Sorry," and walk away. But, he didn't! I thought that the 10% was very generous. So we got a new one and were on our way.

An hour after being home, the doorbell rang. The MPs were there with Madelyn's bike. They had found it. We were completely shocked. It was only the second bike they've ever recovered.

So, the next day, I tried to return the second bike. They took it back, no questions asked. I even told them that she had ridden it for the afternoon. They said it was in sellable condition. Yey!

I am told that Wal-Mart is ruining 'America' by only selling stuff from China. But, everyone is. Look at the Dollar Store, Dollar Tree, anything off the fun shelves at Walgreens. You can't get around it.

I am posting this from an iMac. It is most definitely made in China.

I feel like I have a 'home' now. I know, subconsciously, its because I am happy with my neighborhood Wal-Mart.

I just can't live without it.





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Final Countdown!

So we are finally within the two week mark in our countdown to Daddy returning. I have grown so much with him gone, through my children. I have grown in my determination, too. I just wish my patience had improved. But, I guess I am just not wired that way!

We have been back in West Texas for several weeks now. I was excited to be here for the entire month of July. No, going to the desert in July does not sound like fun. But July in El Paso is special.

It is the rainy season!

For about ten days, we have been forecasted to have 30% chance of precipitation every day and night. The high temps have been around 86 degrees. We've even had a lot of rain, too!

Here is a picture of the rain coming in from just the other night:

I was really pretty intimidated about seeing that. I was driving home from the new Wal-Mart (yes, that will be another blog) and had to pull over to take a picture of it. It was weird and spectacular.

So it started raining around 8 in the evening. It was a huge thunderstorm for about four hours, then gentle until 5 AM. It was so relaxing! The girls slept until 8:45 that morning.

Then we went outside to see what a wet desert looked like.

Audrey found the mud. She was laughing so hard. She kept jumping back into it. Face first.

It rained again this afternoon. The ground was so saturated, we had a little collection pool at our back door. This time, the girls put on their suits.

So we have been doing a good job of keeping ourselves entertained. We went to the theater for the summer movie series. For $3 a person, you got  a popcorn and a soda and admission. Today's flick was Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked. Audrey did not fare well there. Forty-five minutes into it we called it quits and went to play at the park.

I've also learned a lot about bike tires. My bike buggy had suffered from the sand spurs that are everywhere down here. I've learned how to remove the valve stem core and install the never-flat serum into the tube. I was airing it back up, and noted that it said forty PSI. I stopped at thirty to check it, and it blew up in my face. I had the slime all over me and my ears were ringing for about ten minutes.

After feeling completely deflated, hahaha, I let it sit a day. I decided to tackle it this afternoon. I went to Wal-Mart and found a new tube that stated it will never go flat. I even found a tool to use to get the tire off the wheel.  It took me two minutes to have the new tube installed and the wheel mounted back on the buggy. I was feeling pretty good about myself. I reflected on all the things that I have learned via self-taught. I am glad that I am building quite a library!

I've been playing in the kitchen as well. I made a frozen lemonade pie to see what it was like. Audrey loves it. But its really rich. Way too sweet, even for me. So it's all hers.

Our nights have been getting smoother. Now that I don't have Gramma and Papa D spoiling the girls, they are getting used to their routine. Audrey down at seven. Then Hannah, Madelyn and I get some puzzle time. Hannah down at eight, and Madelyn down at eight-thirty.

Madelyn has been a big help, too. She's even helped with meal planning.

Pork loin, steamed veggies, and homemade mashed potatoes

Thats about all for now. I am anxious to see what happens when Daddy gets home. I am excited, and am sure he will grow accustomed to living with women again.

If that's even possible.
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Fourth of July

"Madelyn! Happy Fourth of July, Sweetie!"

"Why? We can't shoot fireworks in the dessert, even though it rained last night," came a sleepy reply from a lump under the covers somewhere near the foot of my bed.

"Well, I know that it won't be like it is at Gramma Mary's house. But, you are old enough to appreciate the other tradition that we had on Firecracker Day with Grampa Kent."

"Humph."

"We got to drink all the pop we could drink, as long as we finished the can we opened before we opened a new one."

"So. That doesn't sound like fun."

"Really? So if I took you to Wal-Mart and said you could buy any soda you wanted, you wouldn't care at all?!? I always loved Strawberry. Gramma Shirley always made sure her granddaughter had Strawberry in the cooler for the Fourth."

"Eh"

"Wow. I never let you have soda. You surprise me, Madelyn. Oh. Wait. I said 'any' soda, right? That includes Dr. Pep..."

"..OKAY! Yes!"

I have no idea what happened to that blob in my bed. The covers were ripped off and something somersaulted down the hallway to get dressed. I had no idea Dr. Pepper was such a prize.

But Madelyn's Aunt Megan understands. I will have to ask her.

So here is to all the soda you can drink, the hotdogs you can grill, the corn on the cob you can slobber over, and the watermelon you can slurp. Here is to all the dogs who will be hiding, the firemen on call, the police protecting the roads from drunk drivers, and the soldiers protecting your freedom to make all of this possible.

But, most of all, here is to the politicians.  May you spend this day reflecting on your history lessons from your youth. May you remember what this country is about, why it was founded. Read up on the path that our Founding Fathers were forced to take in order to make this country so unique, and so great.  Understand what lengths the writers of the Declaration of Independence and the United States Constitution went to to protect its citizens, and the intentions behind these two documents. Study, so you can do your job more efficiently, because of right now, all I see are two three year-olds fighting over broken toys.  Stand up, grow up, and fix it!

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The Great Migration

The time had come for my girls and I to make the journey back to El Paso.

And boy was it a trip.

In so many ways...

We left last Monday. Audrey stayed behind with Gramma. They were flying down on Wednesday.  I decided to take a path that I hadn't taken before, US Highway 54. I was excited because I got to see the largest hand-dug well.

Then, we went through Liberal, Ks. There is an attraction there about the Wizard of Oz that is wonderful! I was very happy that I took the time to pull over and share it with Madelyn and Hannah.

Dorothy's House

My Munchkins

Dorothy Statue by Yellow Brick Road

After that break, we headed on down to Tucumcari, NM. That was our overnight stop.

After three fifteen mile stretches of 45 mph construction zones, we arrived at home around 2:17 PM on Tuesday. We went to work right away sweeping the house and cleaning the window sills. The place looked great, considering I had been gone for seven months!  My friend came over a few days before I arrived and turned our A/C on for us. That was refreshing to walk into the house and it was cool!

Gramma arrived with Audrey on Wednesday a little before 4 PM. The girls and I had spent the previous day waiting in lobbies for doctor visits, vehicle inspections, and tags, so we were happy to be out and ready for some company.

We all had supper at Buffalo Wild Wings and settled in for the evening.

Gramma and I spent the next two days organizing the house, and the girls' clothes.  The kids went to Mommy's Day Out from 8-3. They came home exhausted.  Most of them. Audrey had some spunk left to her. She helped with the hangars. She decided they needed to be out of the tub.

Audrey had also received glamour lessons from her oldest sister.  She put together her own outfit for a trip to the P/X, complete with handbag.

Today was our last day with Gramma. We all went to Freedom Crossing before her flight.

After Gramma left, we played Glamour Shoppe with Madelyn's stuffed animals during Audrey's nap time.

We also made a parade float with Glamourized Ponies flanking the sides.

The last project of the evening was adding a dolly to the baby basket of Madelyn's Fancy Schmancy new bike, and installing the front plate holder for the van. Texas plates at last. Yee Haw!

One of the funniest moments of the weekend was from a comment by Hannah. She watched The Wizard of Oz on the way home, and she called it the Toto Movie. The girls had on their headphones, so I was listening to Sirius Radio. I had no idea what scene was on their screen. Hannah started yelling, "Oh Mom! I don't like that wicked witch!"  After a moment, she said, "Its okay, Mommy. That witch is gone now!"

Well, fast forward four days. Audrey sneezed about two tablespoons of mucus all over her face. I was rushing to get a tissue. Hannah was running around screaming, "Audrey is melting, mommy! Put the water away!" frantically.

I laughed for hours over that.
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What's Your Balloon?

A few Sundays ago, Nita Cummings spoke about her experiences during her time of recovery from a stroke. It made me wonder about a few things upon reflecting on her story.

1)    How long did it take her to be able to laugh about her drug-induced hallucinations?

The recurring phrase during her message was, “I just wanted to go home.”

3)    

One of her experiences was trying to communicate to a helium-filled balloon.

a.     Her mind was convinced that it was really a deaf mute sent to communicate with her about how to get discharged from the hospital.

b.     If she could figure out a method of communication, it would tell her how she could go home.

c.     Nita would throw anything within reach at the ‘deaf mute’ throughout the night to get its attention.

d.     Of course, the situation was never fruitful. The ‘deaf mute’ had no control over how, or when, Nita would get to go home.

During Nita’s message, my mind started to whirl. That balloon part seemed silly. Nita was even giggling while she was admitting it to the congregation.  I was smiling, but I got a sinking feeling in my heart. I couldn’t figure it out.

And then I did.

Nita clearly wasn’t living in reality. But, if you break that down a little further, you can question if we are living in reality, or just a reality.

Suppose, for a moment, that we are truly Spiritual Souls. Sure, this isn’t hard to believe. We are all striving for that. But, imagine that the reality we are living in now is the false reality similar to what Nita was experiencing.

What balloons are you trying to communicate with?!? What, in this material world, has consumed your attention so much that you are reduced to throwing parts of yourself at, to gain its attention? And, is it something that will reward you with the knowledge of how to go home?

Of course, now, I have switched the literal meaning of go home from our dwelling here on Earth, to going home to Our Heavenly Father.

I think this realization folds gently into the event of Lent. Lent is a time when many Christians prepare for Easter by observing a period of fasting, repentance, moderation and spiritual discipline. The purpose is to set aside time for reflection on Jesus Christ - his suffering and his sacrifice, his life, death, burial and resurrection.

Lent is a time to identify our deaf-mute balloons, and pop them.

Now that we are in our fourth Sunday of Easter, our journey of repentance should not end.

I challenge you to examine your reality. Identify your balloons.

Mark your calendars. Have the first of the month be your balloon day. I challenge you to fast from that balloon for the entire month, or a few weeks, at least. See if your reality morphs, or changes, so that you can see your Spiritual-self, again.

And, if you find yourself missing the opportunity of throwing things at your balloon, then you better practice ducking. Because, when you get to those Heavenly Gates, St. Peter will be throwing those things back at you to defend. 

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Forget 'Terrible Twos'

Hannah is three years-old. She is a character. Every time she speaks to you, whether it being an answer to a question or telling you a story, she ends with a swivel of the hips and a final pose. It just cracks you up.

But, she is an obstinate little thing.

Her bedroom is my mom's office, for the time being.  I send her in there, quite often, actually, for her time-outs. I shut the door so I don't hear her whining.

She enjoys the time alone, I have discovered.

Yesterday, I pulled the curtains back and found all of Gramma's office supplies lined along the window sill. That wasn't a problem. Then I found 'other' evidence of what she's been doing.

Smiley faces in blue Sharpie all over her folders
Blue Sharpie 'ocean waves' along the arm rests of the futon
Blue Sharpie 'mermaid tails' all over the two week-old bedspread
Envelopes that have weird bite marks all over them. Took me a while to figure out it was punches from a staple-remover tool.
Red 'Punch' stamps all over the tower fan.
Bits of paper. Apparently, she has gotten fairly agile with the scissors.

I reprimanded her for touching Gramma's stuff. She cried. She got over it.

Later, she was having a melt-down, so I put her in her room with her t.v. on to rest.

I checked on her, and found her sitting at the computer with QuickBooks open to Gramma's hospital accounts. (She volunteers for the auxiliary group and does their accounting.)

Another spanking, and she was put back on her bed. I snuggled her for a bit. Then we got up to play.

After we picked Madelyn up from school, I walked by the office and the door was shut.

I opened it.

I found Hannah cutting a hospital's manilla folder.

Spanking.

Three minutes later, I walked passed the door again. Noticed it was shut.

Hannah was cutting the check book for the hospital.

Spanking.

I came out exasperated. Obviously I could't hide everything in the office from her. And spanking wasn't working.

I went back to get Hannah and to pray with her, but when I opened the door she was typing on the computer again.

This time, I marched her out to the front door. I spread her legs apart and placed her hands high and wide on the door. I told her to stand there until I told her she could move.

She cried more than when she got a spanking. I was hopeful that maybe this will work.

After she was done, we raced outside to make wishes on dandelion fluffs.  It was just her and me. Very fun!

"I wish that Hannah will stop touching Gramma's stuff!" I wished.

"Well, I wish that Mommy would stop opening my door!" Hannah wished with a huge huff that sent fluff flying.

I cracked up.

"I wish that Daddy would come home soon," I wished.

"Huh? Daddy's gone, Mom!"

"I wish I had new shoes," I wished.

"I wish I had new shoes, too,"

"I wish we could go to DisneyWorld!"

This time, Hannah's response was a jubilant "Yeah!"

After supper, I noticed that the office door was closed again. I went in and Hannah was stapling all of Gramma's envelopes shut.  This time was enough for me. I just put her to bed. She was given the strict instructions to not touch the t.v.

Three minutes later, I went in and it was on.

I had had it! I unplugged the thing, gave her a spanking, and left her to fall asleep.

I quickly went and rummaged through my drawer to find a child-proof socket protector. I knew she would be trying to plug that t.v. back in.

I was gone about thirty-two seconds.

And, I caught her behind the t.v. trying to plug it in.

Ugh!

I picked her up, and cradled her on the bed. I told her that she couldn't touch the plugs because they could bite her and really, really hurt her.

I put her to bed and left the room.

Then I prayed. I prayed very hard.

She did fall asleep that time. She had no choice. She had an exhausting day being so defiant.

My Hannah, passed out from her long, hard day at the office

I went to bed smiling last night. After all of that, she makes me laugh. She is always happy, and ready to play. I love her to death. I just need to find a way to channel her energy better.  Or she will be in a pack-n-play in the laundry room.

I was lamenting on thoughts of the innocence of childhood curiosity while I was plugging my iPhone in to charge by the bed.

Then I found the twelve pictures that Hannah had taken of her ear, the floor, and her pillow pet.

When did she have my iPhone?!?
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When Children Use Logic

I was told in my childhood education and development classes at KU that children do not have the mental abilities to use reason and logic until around the age of seven.

I agree.

You can debate me all you want with arguments about how you got little Becky to use the potty with bribes of Skittles, or how spanking your child the first time they did something 'wrong' so that they will remember the punishment and avoid the incident at a later time.

That isn't reasoning or logic. That is incentive. Incentive works across the board. Especially on adults. Work = Paycheck.  Well, it used to be that way. The government has re-wrote the book on that one. But I won't go into that debate here.

Reasoning and logic are deeper.

Reasoning and logic apply to more of a problem solving set of skills. It is the process of figuring out how to get from one situation to another.  Examining causes and effects.  How to add eggs to a batter that has already been set to bake. Remember that story? Sheesh. (Click here for Rewind!Rewind!)

My cousin, Dub is how I will refer to him for his privacy, was about two and a half years old at the time. We had met his family at the Pizza Hut in Fredonia, Ks.  While we were waiting for the pies to arrive, we were all chatting about everything under the sun. We are very close to their family, so, naturally, there was some ribbing going on. But, Dub and his older brother were playing with their sodas. The older, by about 18 months, was trying to suck it up the straw, then quickly place his finger over the top to keep it from receding.  The goal was to see who could get the straw the fullest.  Dub didn't waste any time. He quickly filled his straw, then bent the tip down with his tongue. He pinched it with his teeth, then removed it with his finger and thumb. Voilá!

My dad was watching intently. He noticed how quickly Dub had figured that out. We asked his folks if they had shown him that trick before. They said they didn't. We asked Dub if someone had shown him that. He said, "No," as well.

That is a young child using reasoning and logic on a very basic level.

It also applies to wit.

A few days ago, I was folding laundry.  Madelyn was organizing some PetShopStory game on the iPad. I stopped and asked if she wanted to send an email to her dad on my iPhone. She thought that would be a good idea.

So there we were, punching letters in as fast as we could go. I made a comment at the end stating, "I must take after my mommy." I was referring to how well she was doing in school.  She asked what that meant. I told her that I was teasing Daddy, and explained how we get our characteristics from our parents.

We hit 'send' and went back to our tasks.

A few minutes later, I told Madelyn that if she helped me, I would be done sooner and would be able to help her get Snuggles, her bunny, out to play.

"Nah," she said.

"Seriously? You can help me, Madelyn!"

She smiled victoriously.

"I get that from my dad," she said, through her satisfied grin.

Oh boy!

So, later, we were outside having supper on the patio and Audrey started throwing a mega-fit.

Madelyn watched her for a bit, turned to me, and said, "Boy, she sure can be a pissy little girl, huh?"

I. was. speechless.

But, not for long!

Later that night, as I laid in bed reflecting on my day, I got the giggles. She was so innocent when she made that comment. She was clueless during her discipline. The thing that I laughed at the most was at how accurate her use of the word was.

I am counting down the days until school is out. I miss my Madelyn and can not wait to spend more time with her.


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