I never cease to be amazed at my Madelyn.
About a month ago, I was ready to consult every parenting book known to man. I was ready to send a plea for help over FaceBook, and call MWR for help with dealing with children during deployments. I had no idea what to do with Madelyn.
You see, she is seven now. Seven is the new twelve, which is the new fifteen.
Attitude!
I was receiving glares when asking Madelyn to help with a simple task, or to do a favor. She was pushing her sisters, and encouraging them to get into trouble so she could watch them get yelled at. Madelyn wouldn't get dressed in the morning, wouldn't eat breakfast, and screamed when picked up from school if she had to walk in the cold wind.
I had tried all discipline tactics that I had been exposed to while growing up, plus the behavior modification skills learned when we studied classroom management in college, and even just ignoring the behavior, hoping for the best.
You know the saying, "It only gets worse before it gets better?" I hung on to that thinking that it had to get better.
She was grounded from clothes. She was grounded from crafts. She was sent to her room.
All to no effect.
Then, one day, I saw a friend had posted on her FaceBook status about how hard it was going through with threats to her child. Her child was displaying attitude and had to be removed from the cheerleading team.
I was almost relieved. Yey! I am not the only one going through this! I knew I wasn't, but there was someone going through it right this minute!
The next morning, I woke up ready for the offensive. I was going to figure out where all of this is stemming from.
It didn't work. I tried to have a heart-to-heart with her, but she wouldn't be completely honest. The responses I got were, "I miss my Daddy," and "I want my own room!"
"Fine. Earn it," I replied, as I walked out.
"What?!? I can have my own room?"
"Yep. Earn it."
"How?"
"Papa D is finishing the basement. You can have a room down there. But, you have to show you are old enough for your own room, because right now your behavior is going to land you in a crib at the foot of my bed by nightfall."
"What do I do to show you I am old enough?"
"Let's figure that out together!"
We went to the kitchen and made a responsibility chart. It included basics like listing chores to do everyday, and items like "Random Acts of Kindness" where she can earn as many stickers a day as she deserves.
We hung the chart and went about our day.
You know what?
It worked!
The next morning, she was up on her own, dressed, had brushed teeth and hair, and was eating cereal at the counter when I got up with Audrey. What was even more glorious was the fact that Hannah does everything her Sissy does, so she was right there by her side. I was so proud of them.
I secretly wondered how long it would last.
The obvious tasks were completed easily for Madelyn. I would have to remind her that she could earn stickers for the RAK category, and she would jump into action.
Here, four weeks later, she hasn't slowed down. I am so impressed at her behavior, and tell her every opportunity. I am so happy to have my Madelyn back.
I was busy cleaning up after supper and working with Audrey one evening, when I heard Madelyn reading. She had taken the books Hannah had picked out for bedtime, and was reading them to her. She had done that all on her own. It was thirty minutes of me holding back my tears of watching the two of them snuggle on the couch with books.
Just a few days ago, I asked Madelyn to go find Audrey's paci before nap time. I told her it was so important that I would let her have two stickers for that one. She quickly located it and brought it to me.
"Mom?"
"Oh, thanks, babe! That was such a good help!"
"Well, I just wanted to tell you that that was so easy, that I am not going to put stickers up for it."
"Madelyn? Do you realize what has happened? You have been working to earn a material reward this past month. You have been earning stickers towards something you haven't even laid your hands on yet. Now, you are not earning stickers anymore. You are doing things out of the kindness of your own heart, and that is what love and family is all about."
She just smiled and went back to her fashion design book.
A few days later I bought her a little iPod. She needed something to show off for doing her chart so diligently. She hugged my neck and started crying when I gave it to her, going on about how neat it was that I got her a pink one.
I asked what songs she wanted me to load on it first.
"Well, how about the worship music from my Praise Baby CD? That way, when I get sad, I can just turn that on so it will calm my heart."
My. Jaw. Dropped.
I never speak that way. She hasn't listed to Praise Baby in ages. Well, probably years. It took me a while to focus on the task.
Wow!
"Sure thing, sweetie! And maybe some Selena Gomez?"
"Well, duh!"
That's my girl!
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If you have any questions or comments you would like to share directly with me, please email thearmymommy@gmail.com
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Ash Wednesday with Hannah
Today is Ash Wednesday.
Tonight was Ash Wednesday service at my church.
I really wanted to go, because, honestly, I really had no idea what Ash Wednesday was all about. Hannah wanted to come with me. So we loaded up and headed on in to town.
There were a few others there tonight. It was very welcoming, and my pastor does a fabulous job of making these special services memorable. After singing a few hymns, he told us a little about the history of Ash Wednesday, and how it has come to be celebrated in the Western Christian cultures.
No, you don't have to be Catholic!
Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent. This was when Jesus began his fast that lasted forty days. We choose forty days before Easter to observe Lent, not counting Sundays. I didn't know that part. This was because Sundays were God's days anyway. We already sacrifice on that day for him.
Our pastor was reminding us that this time was to reflect on our sins that have preoccupied our lives. Upon hearing 'preoccupied', my Hannah turns to me questioningly and asks, with her eye brows furrowed, "Pumpkin Pie?!?"
I stifled a giggle.
"No, honey. No pumpkin pie. Preoccupied."
"Pumpkin Pie?!?!"
"Sure. Pumpkin Pie."
After we celebrated communion, our minister began to light a tier of candles before the closing.
"Fire," Hannah yelled!
"It is okay, honey. It is a controlled burn."
"Don't touch it, Harry!" Hannah was very concerned.
"He will be fine, babe. He knows what he is doing."
Of course she only spoke when the entire sanctuary was silent.
But, I wouldn't have it any other way.
------------------------------------------------
If you have any questions or comments you would like to share directly with me, please email thearmymommy@gmail.com
Tonight was Ash Wednesday service at my church.
I really wanted to go, because, honestly, I really had no idea what Ash Wednesday was all about. Hannah wanted to come with me. So we loaded up and headed on in to town.
There were a few others there tonight. It was very welcoming, and my pastor does a fabulous job of making these special services memorable. After singing a few hymns, he told us a little about the history of Ash Wednesday, and how it has come to be celebrated in the Western Christian cultures.
No, you don't have to be Catholic!
Ash Wednesday marks the beginning of Lent. This was when Jesus began his fast that lasted forty days. We choose forty days before Easter to observe Lent, not counting Sundays. I didn't know that part. This was because Sundays were God's days anyway. We already sacrifice on that day for him.
Our pastor was reminding us that this time was to reflect on our sins that have preoccupied our lives. Upon hearing 'preoccupied', my Hannah turns to me questioningly and asks, with her eye brows furrowed, "Pumpkin Pie?!?"
I stifled a giggle.
"No, honey. No pumpkin pie. Preoccupied."
"Pumpkin Pie?!?!"
"Sure. Pumpkin Pie."
After we celebrated communion, our minister began to light a tier of candles before the closing.
"Fire," Hannah yelled!
"It is okay, honey. It is a controlled burn."
"Don't touch it, Harry!" Hannah was very concerned.
"He will be fine, babe. He knows what he is doing."
Of course she only spoke when the entire sanctuary was silent.
But, I wouldn't have it any other way.
 |
| Me and Hannah with our Ash Crosses on our Foreheads |
------------------------------------------------
If you have any questions or comments you would like to share directly with me, please email thearmymommy@gmail.com
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Spontaneous Fun!
Well, our plans for this past weekend changed about four times in the last month. I was frustrated, because I could have spent it with a friend that I hadn't seen for a very long time. But, instead of trying to un-cancel our visit, I decided to just drop in on Norman, Oklahoma and surprise them. I already had plans rescheduled with my friend, and didn't want to change those, again.
We live with the Military. We only know change. :)
Anyway, I loaded up my three girls on Friday after school, and we headed south. After stopping in Tulsa for an hour and a half at a McDonald's Play Place, we finished our 252 mile journey around eight that evening. We checked into our hotel, but weren't sleepy. Audrey had slept the last hour, so she was rearing to explore.
First place to visit?
Wal-Mart!
Three kiddie swim-suits later, we were back at the hotel having a picnic on the girls' bed. No way was I letting them eat their chicken strips on my bed. They can keep their crumbs. :)
The next morning we met some friends at a rec center. Their son was playing basketball. I had never been in a setting where all fans cheered for both teams when a shot was attempted. These boys were eight years old and so stinkin' cute! There was not one parent upset at the coach for lack of playing time, nor a scowl towards a ref. It was very refreshing!
We went back to their house and turned the kids loose. We are so blessed that all six of our kids play so well together.
After lunch and an Audrey nap, we travelled to Moore to meet a newborn baby. He was amazing! Yes, I do have baby fever. I will admit it. I was scared to hold this amazing gift for fear of really wanting another one. But, Audrey let me know, under no uncertain terms, that I was to stay away from the baby. I had never heard her reach the octave that she did, nor hear that level of decibels before. But, my retreat was clear and evident.
After gazing at the T-man, we were back at our hotel, ready for some swimming fun.
Audrey wasted no time for wiping the pizza from her face. She was ready for the pool! Friend #3 met us there with her two girls and we had a grand ol' time! Hannah swam with an awesome floaty that Friend #1 let us borrow. She was out there all alone in it, but paddling away. It was a riot.
We were about fifteen minutes into our splashing fun when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I looked over towards him, and it was a dad getting out of the pool quickly, with his son held up above him. He pointed to something.
Something in the water.
Something mysteriously gooey in the water.
I didn't take much time to investigate. It was headed my way. I looked at my friend and we both screamed at our kids.
"GET OUT! GET OUT NOW!"
We had our ducks under our wings near our table when the courage set in.
Yep. We got brave.
We had to know what it was!
So did the twenty other people who were previously in the pool.
It was so funny. Imagine an indoor pool that is about the size of a small two-bedroom house. It is dark, and very steamy. The only good lighting was from the sources that were under the water level. Now, put about ten adults creeping slowly towards the edge from all angles.
Then we realize what it is, and all of us yell, "Ewww! It's vomit!" at the same time.
It was kind of funny, in retrospect.
We've got our kids in towels and we are ready for a mass exit. I knew the back way out. We took full advantage of it.
So that was some excitement that the girls will remember for a while.
Wish the excitement could have been me winning the lottery. :)
On our way home, I found myself following part of the shaft of a giant wind turbine.
He had a police escort from south of Bartlesville through north Dewey. It was annoying because they went so slow and didn't allow anyone to pass. I have sympathy for extreme circumstances, but they could have let a few cars by every once in a while! If they had heard Audrey screaming like I had to, I bet they would have let me lead. No siren needed!
We got back to Gramma's house around one. Audrey went right to sleep and Madelyn and Hannah worked at their craft table. I hauled our gear in and crashed on the floor. It is exhausting having three little kids in a hotel alone. I had to take them with me every trip to the truck when I was loading it to come home, just like I did when I made my trips up to the room to carry our stuff up. Audrey goes to bed at 7:30, so we all had to go to bed at 7:30 on Saturday night. I didn't think I could pull that off, but I did! Hannah and Madelyn had no idea what the time was. They were tired from swimming that entire fifteen minutes.
I had never been to bed that early in years!
It was so refreshing, I decided to do it Sunday night, too. Only it was 8:34 before I could lay down.
But, Gramma and Papa D came home from their weekend on Sunday, and we played outside.
We play outside "Gramma Style".
Yep. After being strapped in car seats for five hours earlier that morning, they still were excited to go for a ride.
Go figure.
------------------------------------------------
If you have any questions or comments you would like to share directly with me, please email thearmymommy@gmail.com
We live with the Military. We only know change. :)
Anyway, I loaded up my three girls on Friday after school, and we headed south. After stopping in Tulsa for an hour and a half at a McDonald's Play Place, we finished our 252 mile journey around eight that evening. We checked into our hotel, but weren't sleepy. Audrey had slept the last hour, so she was rearing to explore.
First place to visit?
Wal-Mart!
Three kiddie swim-suits later, we were back at the hotel having a picnic on the girls' bed. No way was I letting them eat their chicken strips on my bed. They can keep their crumbs. :)
The next morning we met some friends at a rec center. Their son was playing basketball. I had never been in a setting where all fans cheered for both teams when a shot was attempted. These boys were eight years old and so stinkin' cute! There was not one parent upset at the coach for lack of playing time, nor a scowl towards a ref. It was very refreshing!
We went back to their house and turned the kids loose. We are so blessed that all six of our kids play so well together.
After lunch and an Audrey nap, we travelled to Moore to meet a newborn baby. He was amazing! Yes, I do have baby fever. I will admit it. I was scared to hold this amazing gift for fear of really wanting another one. But, Audrey let me know, under no uncertain terms, that I was to stay away from the baby. I had never heard her reach the octave that she did, nor hear that level of decibels before. But, my retreat was clear and evident.
After gazing at the T-man, we were back at our hotel, ready for some swimming fun.
Audrey wasted no time for wiping the pizza from her face. She was ready for the pool! Friend #3 met us there with her two girls and we had a grand ol' time! Hannah swam with an awesome floaty that Friend #1 let us borrow. She was out there all alone in it, but paddling away. It was a riot.
We were about fifteen minutes into our splashing fun when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I looked over towards him, and it was a dad getting out of the pool quickly, with his son held up above him. He pointed to something.
Something in the water.
Something mysteriously gooey in the water.
I didn't take much time to investigate. It was headed my way. I looked at my friend and we both screamed at our kids.
"GET OUT! GET OUT NOW!"
We had our ducks under our wings near our table when the courage set in.
Yep. We got brave.
We had to know what it was!
So did the twenty other people who were previously in the pool.
It was so funny. Imagine an indoor pool that is about the size of a small two-bedroom house. It is dark, and very steamy. The only good lighting was from the sources that were under the water level. Now, put about ten adults creeping slowly towards the edge from all angles.
Then we realize what it is, and all of us yell, "Ewww! It's vomit!" at the same time.
It was kind of funny, in retrospect.
We've got our kids in towels and we are ready for a mass exit. I knew the back way out. We took full advantage of it.
So that was some excitement that the girls will remember for a while.
Wish the excitement could have been me winning the lottery. :)
On our way home, I found myself following part of the shaft of a giant wind turbine.
He had a police escort from south of Bartlesville through north Dewey. It was annoying because they went so slow and didn't allow anyone to pass. I have sympathy for extreme circumstances, but they could have let a few cars by every once in a while! If they had heard Audrey screaming like I had to, I bet they would have let me lead. No siren needed!
We got back to Gramma's house around one. Audrey went right to sleep and Madelyn and Hannah worked at their craft table. I hauled our gear in and crashed on the floor. It is exhausting having three little kids in a hotel alone. I had to take them with me every trip to the truck when I was loading it to come home, just like I did when I made my trips up to the room to carry our stuff up. Audrey goes to bed at 7:30, so we all had to go to bed at 7:30 on Saturday night. I didn't think I could pull that off, but I did! Hannah and Madelyn had no idea what the time was. They were tired from swimming that entire fifteen minutes.
I had never been to bed that early in years!
It was so refreshing, I decided to do it Sunday night, too. Only it was 8:34 before I could lay down.
But, Gramma and Papa D came home from their weekend on Sunday, and we played outside.
We play outside "Gramma Style".
Yep. After being strapped in car seats for five hours earlier that morning, they still were excited to go for a ride.
Go figure.
------------------------------------------------
If you have any questions or comments you would like to share directly with me, please email thearmymommy@gmail.com
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
It's All in the Timing
I have a regret about moving back to Kansas.
Well, besides being away from the fun activities and support systems at Ft. Bliss, I have a regret about moving back to Kansas.
I don't have as much time to write here.
Isn't that just mind-boggling? It just blows me away, honestly.
Here, I have my mom and David jumping to help with whatever hair-brained idea that I come up with. So, I have childcare, a grocery delivery service, and a live-in handyman. Wouldn't I have all the time in the world to let my creative juices flow and just write.
Simple answer.
No.
We are busier than ever! But, it is fun. Mom and David work during the day, so I get to spend the mornings doing housework and playing with Hannah and Audrey. When Madelyn gets home from school, its game on!
First, Madelyn helps give Audrey her bottle when she wakes up from her nap.
Then we watch Papa D do his chores in the backyard.
Yes, Audrey is standing in the window sill.
We have some quiet time before bed. I love how happy my girls are. :)
The other morning, I was doing laundry. Audrey loves helping me. She stands at the dryer and catches the clothes that I pull out of the washing machine. She tries with all her baby-might to get them into the dryer. I fling a dryer sheet in, she slams the door, I press the start button, and we go running through the house looking for trouble.
This particular morning, after about five minutes, I heard a weird sound coming from the back of the house.
Thump-thump. Th-Th-Thump. Th-Thump Thump Th-Thump. Thump.
What could that be? Hannah came to me and asked what that sound was. So we went to investigate.
It wasn't hard to narrow it down. It was obvious that it was coming from the laundry room. The pocket-door was pulled shut, but it was vibrating in coordination with all the ruckus.
I slowly slid the door back into the wall, and cautiously crept over to the dryer. I opened the door, and I found...
...four shoes in the dryer. Four shoes. In the dryer.
Apparently, every time I went back up to the washer to grab another load to hand Audrey, she turned around, grabbed a shoe, and placed it in with the clothes.
She had perfect timing, because I had no idea she had moved at all!
And, if you didn't notice, another odd part about this story was that there were four shoes in the dryer, and all four landed on top of the clothes when I opened the door! That never happens when it is something important that I need to find.
So there is a glimpse into our week. I sure hope I can write more often. It isn't that I don't have material, because there is plenty to go around. I am just too exhausted to get it in digital format at the end of the day.
But, I will try better.
I promise.
Tomorrow :)
------------------------------------------------
If you have any questions or comments you would like to share directly with me, please email thearmymommy@gmail.com
Well, besides being away from the fun activities and support systems at Ft. Bliss, I have a regret about moving back to Kansas.
I don't have as much time to write here.
Isn't that just mind-boggling? It just blows me away, honestly.
Here, I have my mom and David jumping to help with whatever hair-brained idea that I come up with. So, I have childcare, a grocery delivery service, and a live-in handyman. Wouldn't I have all the time in the world to let my creative juices flow and just write.
Simple answer.
No.
We are busier than ever! But, it is fun. Mom and David work during the day, so I get to spend the mornings doing housework and playing with Hannah and Audrey. When Madelyn gets home from school, its game on!
First, Madelyn helps give Audrey her bottle when she wakes up from her nap.
Then we watch Papa D do his chores in the backyard.
Yes, Audrey is standing in the window sill.
We have some quiet time before bed. I love how happy my girls are. :)
The other morning, I was doing laundry. Audrey loves helping me. She stands at the dryer and catches the clothes that I pull out of the washing machine. She tries with all her baby-might to get them into the dryer. I fling a dryer sheet in, she slams the door, I press the start button, and we go running through the house looking for trouble.
This particular morning, after about five minutes, I heard a weird sound coming from the back of the house.
Thump-thump. Th-Th-Thump. Th-Thump Thump Th-Thump. Thump.
What could that be? Hannah came to me and asked what that sound was. So we went to investigate.
It wasn't hard to narrow it down. It was obvious that it was coming from the laundry room. The pocket-door was pulled shut, but it was vibrating in coordination with all the ruckus.
I slowly slid the door back into the wall, and cautiously crept over to the dryer. I opened the door, and I found...
...four shoes in the dryer. Four shoes. In the dryer.
Apparently, every time I went back up to the washer to grab another load to hand Audrey, she turned around, grabbed a shoe, and placed it in with the clothes.
She had perfect timing, because I had no idea she had moved at all!
And, if you didn't notice, another odd part about this story was that there were four shoes in the dryer, and all four landed on top of the clothes when I opened the door! That never happens when it is something important that I need to find.
So there is a glimpse into our week. I sure hope I can write more often. It isn't that I don't have material, because there is plenty to go around. I am just too exhausted to get it in digital format at the end of the day.
But, I will try better.
I promise.
Tomorrow :)
------------------------------------------------
If you have any questions or comments you would like to share directly with me, please email thearmymommy@gmail.com
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Whoops!
Madelyn was in the back seat of the truck when Gramma pulled up to the mail box. After retrieving the mail, Gramma announced that she had received a card. She opened it immediately and began to read aloud...
"What is the difference between a man and a margarita?"
She opened the card.
It read: A margarita always hits the spot!
Gramma caught herself before she read it. She was frantically trying to think of something to say so that Madelyn would be able to hear it without asking too many questions.
"I know what it says, Gramma!"
Oh boy.
"Oh? What, Madelyn?"
"That a Man-garita would be perfect!"
Yep. Clueless. For another day.
------------------------------------------------
If you have any questions or comments you would like to share directly with me, please email thearmymommy@gmail.com
"What is the difference between a man and a margarita?"
She opened the card.
It read: A margarita always hits the spot!
Gramma caught herself before she read it. She was frantically trying to think of something to say so that Madelyn would be able to hear it without asking too many questions.
"I know what it says, Gramma!"
Oh boy.
"Oh? What, Madelyn?"
"That a Man-garita would be perfect!"
Yep. Clueless. For another day.
------------------------------------------------
If you have any questions or comments you would like to share directly with me, please email thearmymommy@gmail.com
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