Tales from a Two Year-Old

I have been struggling without a kitchen sink for, wow, an entire week now. Going out to eat, or grabbing fast food was a great thought the first few days. Until I get there and realize that I am alone with three children...

Wednesday night, the girls and I loaded up and headed to Freedom Crossing for supper.  It was a tad before five, so I thought we could beat the rush. Audrey sang, loudly, as only Audrey can, the entire way in.  I got to the guard booth to show my ID and was almost completely deaf.

"Good evening, Ma'am"

"What?" Audrey is still singing, displaying her vast octave capabilities.

"HOW ARE YOU?"

"Thirty-two."

"Excuse me?"

"I am thirty-two. Are you quizzing me over my ID?" Now, its a decibel demonstration for Audrey. And it continues for rest of conversation.

"Sure, Ma'am." Peeks into my truck. "I see you have your hands full."

"You need me to pull over? Are you going to inspect my vehicle?"

"No, ma'am. YOU MAY PROCEED."

"I already gave you my ID?!?"

"PLEASE LEAVE. YOU ARE CLEAR"

"Oh, okay. Thank you, sir!"

Wow. That was embarrassing. I looked in my rearview mirror and he had a huge smile on his face. I wonder if he had kids. Or maybe he was thinking that he never wanted to have kids.  I hope I didn't ruin it for him.

We made our way down the street and found the main drive to get to Freedom Crossing. I usually never park down the main strip because I am afraid of it being too congested with cars and/or people. But, tonight I felt brave.  As I got closer to the fountain, I spotted an open spot in front of the new Under Armor store.  I noticed that the Grand Caravan just to the left parked at more of an angle than the space was allotted.  Oh well. I whipped in. I checked my alignment with the painted stripes and I was perfectly centered, and parallel to them. I was good.

I was excited to spend the evening with my girls.  I opened my door and twisted to get out.  My foot got caught and I somewhat fell out of the truck, slamming the truck door against the crooked mini-van.  I checked for a mark, and there wasn't any. So, I ran around the back of the truck to go get my opera star out of her carseat.  I glanced up and I could see a gentleman, in uniform, checking his rear tire well for a dent, or red paint.  I knew he wouldn't find any.  He turned and glared at me, then went and got back into his van.

I thought to myself, "Well, buddy, if you knew how to park then you wouldn't be in this situation."

Madelyn saw him, and asked why he was looking at me with a mean face.  I knew I had to do something to set a good example.

"Because Mommy tapped his van with her door. I will go speak with him."

"Ooooo. You're gonna get it!"

"No, I won't. See what happens when you do the responsible thing." I was praying that he was an understanding fella.

I had Audrey in a shopping cart, Hannah in the basket and Madelyn was standing beside us. I walked up to the guy in the van. He had his window down. Me: Deep breath in. Deep breath out.

I hate confrontations.

Here I go...

"Sir, I am very sorry that I tapped my door on your van.  I tripped when I was..."

"Don't worry about it. I get it. It's beat up anyway."

"No, sir. I am not implying that I did it because it was beat up anyway. I never noticed that."

"Its okay." And he shooed me away with his hand.

Wow. Seriously? Yes. He shooed me away like I was a pest.

Whatever.

I walked away with my girls, thankful that I had them. I was glad that I apologized. I was upset at how he took it. But at least I acknowledged that I had made a mistake. He couldn't think that I was careless and didn't care about other people's property.

I decided that I wasn't going to let it ruin my evening.  We ate Arby's. We shopped at the PX. We shopped at the new Under Armor store.  We went home and went to bed. We had a great night.

*****

Today, I was waiting with Hannah and Audrey at Madelyn's school.  Hannah's shoe had slipped off. She loves these silver sparkly glitter shoes that we got at Target for Madelyn last year.  I made a comment about Cinderella losing her slipper as I placed it back on her foot.

Then, Hannah let out a huge fart.

She giggled.  I asked what it was.

"That was a Cinderella Poop, Mommy"

Oh boy.

Now I know that royalty's crap still stinks.



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