When You Love Somebody

One of the pluses of a deployment is the opportunity to reflect on life and relationships.  Sometimes your eyes are opened to an entire new world that always existed. You just may have never realized it was there.

I have always said that I was blessed to have my mom in my life. I do not believe that I cling to her apron strings. We just have a great relationship. We are best friends, well, we were until she found her David. :) But that is another entry. Ha! But, seriously, we truly are best friends and we respect each other as mothers and women.

My grandmother passed away when my mom was just twelve years old. So I never take for granted the fact that I get to share my life, and my children, with my mom. She never got to hug her mom on her graduation day, smile at her mom on her wedding day, or share the miracle of childbirth with her mom. I am truly thankful for those experiences that I got to share with Gramma Mary.

But, Lordy, can she be a handful.

I will have been here at her house for a week as of tomorrow. After the two day trip to get here, the girls were tired of riding. So I ran to town alone to run a few errands, childless. It was amazing! I was so fast and I got to listen to my radio station the entire time. It was great!

And then I got home.

Gramma kept the kids busy for me. They had a great time.

What did they do?

Well...

Gramma gave them tubes of paint, two aluminum pie pans and two paint brushes and sent them to the basement. They painted the walls of the basement. Granted, it isn't finished, yet, but they were allowed to paint the walls. Sheesh.  This was the first day we were here. I can't even begin to imagine what will happen over the next eight months.  But I will be here blogging it the entire time!

Gramma's heart is so big for her grandkids. She is expecting number four next spring and she is actually glowing. We are all excited for the opportunity to greet that baby, and introduce him/her to Gramma Mary.

She has such a happy spirit. Honestly, she has changed so much since she met David.  He makes her giggle like a thirteen year-old school girl.  They are so in love that when you look at them you see the world melt away around them. They hold each other when they pray. Their goodbyes are truly sincere and heartfelt. She falls asleep on his shoulder every night as they watch television. They do all their chores together with a smile and miss each other when plans change unexpectedly. Yes, they have only been married for a little over a year, but it is not the 'honeymoon' phase. It is genuine love that you do not see but once in a lifetime.

I sit admiring them and I can't help but compare their relationship to my own with my husband.  Jay and I do come from different places in life. He grew up in bigger cities with a lot more opportunities than I could experience. I am just a country bumpkin just doing my best with what is given to me. We compliment each other. He pushes me to see what else is out there, and I help keep him grounded.  He reminds me that I need to play sometimes, and I try to keep a house and home organized so that we can play.

Watching Gramma Mary and David makes me miss Jay so very much. I miss him holding me at night as David holds my mom. I miss the huge hugs that we share before he goes to work in the morning, or when he gets home. I miss his goodnight kisses and I miss catching his eyes across the supper table or when one of the kids do something adorable.  I know that my mom and David cherish all of these moments that they share, as each have lost a loved one before. That is what helps ease my sadness. It's amazing seeing a couple who know whats important in life. It's refreshing.

I haven't spoken with Jay in ten days. The last he was online was seven days ago, and we never got to finish our conversation as his internet connection was terminated. But the last time we had a meaningful conversation, it was at two in the morning through a messaging program on my iPhone.  I was asking him about us. He was commenting on how much he wanted to come home.

"Do you think we will be different when you get home, Jay? Do you think we will be closer?"

"I know we will," was his reply.

That answer melted my heart. It was the last thing that he said to me, and it makes me smile every time I think of it.  I am anxious to see him next summer. I am anxious for him to see his family, so that we can be a team again.

But, until then, we will just keep on keepin' on. We are an Army Family. It's what we do.

And I think we do a pretty darn good job, too.

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If you have any questions or comments you would like to share directly with me, please email thearmymommy@gmail.com